A dominant-submissive (D/s) relationship is a type of BDSM relationship that involves power exchange between two consenting adults. In this type of relationship, one partner takes on the role of the dominant, while the other partner takes on the role of the submissive. The dominant partner is responsible for setting rules, boundaries, and expectations within agreed upon limits, while the submissive partner agrees to follow them. If you’re interested in exploring a dominant-submissive dynamic, it’s important to understand the basic roles and rules involved.
The Role of the Dominant
The Dominant is responsible for taking the lead in the relationship and setting the tone for the power exchange. They are responsible for setting rules, boundaries, and expectations for the submissive partner. They may also engage in activities such as bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism.Both parties should negotiate their dynamic in advance to ensure they are comfortable with the activities involved and the type of power being exchanged. It is the role of the Dominant to provide a safe space for the submissive and provide aftercare.
The Role of the Submissive
The submissive agrees to follow the rules, boundaries, and expectations set by the dominant partner. They may also engage in acts of service such as cleaning, serving drinks, preparing food, or performing other tasks as directed by the Dominant. It’s important for the submissive partner to communicate their needs and desires to ensure that their boundaries are respected and followed.
Basic Rules in a Dominant-Submissive Relationship
1. Consent: All activities in a dominant-submissive relationship should be consensual and agreed upon by both parties. It’s important for both partners to communicate their boundaries and limits. Boundaries need to be set in advance when everyone is thinking calmly and clearly.
2. Safe words: Safe words are important in a dominant-submissive relationship to ensure that both parties feel safe and comfortable. A safe word is a special word that either partner can use to signal that they want a particular activity to stop. The use of a safe word is imperative if a scene or session has gone beyond either partner’s comfort level. In addition to a full stop safe word, you can establish check in words and phrases to determine where the submissive is physically, mentally, and emotionally. Some people use a “red, yellow, green” system wherein the word green means I am having the experience I want to have, yellow means “let’s slow down, but not end the session” and red means “everything needs to stop now.”
3. Communication: Communication is key in any relationship, but it is imperative in a D/s relationship. Both partners should be able to communicate openly and honestly about their needs, desires, and boundaries.
4. Respect: Both partners should show respect for each other at all times, even when engaging in power exchange activities.
5. Aftercare: Aftercare is the care and attention given after a power exchange activity to ensure their emotional and physical well-being. Dominants or submissives may enter a heavily emotional headspace, and at the conclusion of a seen may experience an emotional “crash.” Aftercare is an important time for both the Dominant to reconnect, reassure, and soothe and care for one another. Aftercare is important for the mental health and well-being of both individuals.
A D/s dynamic can be an exciting and rewarding experience for many if practiced under safe, sane, consensual boundaries. The Dominant is responsible for setting rules, boundaries, and expectations within agreed upon limits, while the submissive agrees to follow them. It’s important for both partners to communicate openly and honestly about their needs and desires, and to show respect for each other at all times.